Confounded

Dancing in my room

2011-07-22T13:09:00.004+02:00

I'm not feeling really great at the moment and just NOT feeling great is rather interesting.

Nevertheless, I'm listening to this song from Phil Collins: Can't Hurry Love and I just started dancing and of course, it lightens the heart very fast.

What's a little sadness
Or a little gloom in our little world
But when there's a little will
to spark more hopes
by dancing in our own room

Dance... Dance.... DANCE!!

Konichiwa!

2011-07-22T12:56:00.003+02:00

While walking along a playground just opposite her apartment or more accurately, her rented room...

Kid: Konichiwa!!

S: Ich kann nicht japanisch!

Kid: Ah! You speak English???

S: Sicher aber ich kann Deutsch sprechen...

This experience really reminded me of how some kids in Malaysia would react if there are foreigners around. Now it's the other way!

Fascinating!

Phone Call

2010-11-20T10:44:00.005+01:00

Still sleeping, at about 8am on a Saturday morning...

The phone rang.

S: Sue.

Person on the phone: Sabine?

S: Sue here. I'm not Sabine. You've got the wrong number.

P: But I have your number... (then he recited my number). I'm Oliver and we met in a disco (he still insisted that I'm Sabine!!) And we have a date today because it's my birthday. We are supposed to meet in a Cinema.

S: (Feeling terribly sorry for him)... I'm so sorry but I haven't been in a disco since ages ago!

P: Oh... then, it's okay.

S: Do you have her Email contact? Or any other way of contacting her?

P: No, unfortunately.

... awkward moment...

S: I wish you all the best anyway!

P: Thanks. Goodbye!

He sounded really down...

I hope he finally gets to contact her or maybe get to know some other girls!!

Too all the guys out there who are hoping to meet 'the one': don't give up, try hard, persist and all the best!!

It will pass...

2010-08-29T15:39:00.002+02:00

Have you ever been in a state where everything is just not right? You don´t know what you want, you do not know what you want to do, and worst - you do not know if what you are doing now is what you REALLY want??

Everything seems bleak, everything seems just wrong.

You do not enjoy the things you enjoyed, you do not know if the things you do will make you happy or satisfied. You do not know what to do, you do not know where to go.

At the same time, all your friends are busy and away. All your friends are occupied with people and things that do not involve you.

This is a phase, a time to just stop and feel. And just notice every little things that is with you; with us at this very moment.

It´s okay to reach out, it´s okay to give a friend a call or even an acquaintance.

It is okay to cry a little, to let it flow and the next morning - on the very next day or even the day after - the sun will shine and everything will be alright...

I do not know you

2010-08-23T10:19:00.003+02:00

I do not know you
If you do not think as I do
I do not know you
If you do not know as I do

I do not know you
If you do not do as I please
I do not know you
If you are not as you should be

I do not know you
If you are be different
Or be an individual
Or to say as you please

I do not know you
If you are not as the others
Or be more than you should
Or to be as whom you should be

I do not know you
If I do not recognize
I do not know you
If I do not understand

I do not know you

Sometimes

2010-08-06T09:16:00.003+02:00

Sometimes we wonder;
What we are dreaming.
Sometimes we wonder;
What we are achieving.

Are our dreams worthy?
Of what we really seek?
Are our dreams a neccesity?
When all seems bleak?

Shadows only being led;
by our hearts, love and courage.
Of doubt and fear, our hearts ached;
Time will wipe it all away.

We must keep striving;
believing and coping.
There is strength within;
for those persisting.

Inspirational Quotes

2010-08-04T08:10:00.002+02:00

1) I am a great believer of luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. - Thomas Jefferson

2) I´ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. - Brian Tracy

3) If you are clear where you are going and you take several steps in that direction every day, you eventually have to get there. If I head north up to Santa Barbara and take five steps a day, eventually I have to end up in San Francisco. So decide what you want, write it down, review it constantly, and each day do something that moves you toward those goals. - Jack Canfield

4) You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt

5) Do not let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. - Earl Nightingle

6) Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or to be. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

7) Concrete all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun´s rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

8) I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Being willing is not enough, we must do. - Leonardo da Vinci

9) Don´t wait until everything is right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less then perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful. - Mark Victor Hansen

10) Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don´t control what you think, you can´t control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward. - Napoleon Hill

Questions, questions, questions

2010-08-03T09:33:00.004+02:00

So... do you have a boyfriend?
Are you seeing someone?
Are you already married?

Everyone would ask me that whenever they see me online, chat or via Email (usually from friends or acquaintances from Malaysia, that is...)

Is it a question of being concerned or simply being nosy?

Of course, we should definitely look at the bright side and yes, they are being concerned!!

Why don´t you settle down? What are you doing in Austria?

Are these questions simply to know, to reason or simply to question? And of course, patiently I would answer - Oh... it´s because I would like to explore, to experience and to live a different lifestyle.

And why is it that you want to be so far away from your family and friends?

They are never faraway! They are always, always here in my heart and I miss them dearly but sometimes, I have to achieve my dreams and to simply hop out of my comfort zone and to achieve my hearts desire and of course, I always - hope and pray that I will meet a man with whom I can spend my life with.

And I know for a fact that I´m alone. Sometimes so that I feel terribly lonesome and so, so terribly homesick but I´m not the only one. There are millions of people out there in this world who are lonely as I am and this gives me comfort - I am not alone in feeling this way.

There are many singles out there - those who are not married but there is always this hope and dream that one day, they will walk the alter of happiness and to have someone to spend their lives with.

But there are also many men and women who are married but there are definitely moments of loneliness and dissatisfaction. These are normal feelings - feelings that surfaces no matter our ´social statuses´.

So to answer your questions...

Yes, I´m still single. Yes, I do date sometimes and thanks for your concern.

Just pray and hope for us - with us - that we, those who are still single - would be able to meet someone soon and while waiting, we´ll contribute a little more happiness and comfort to the people around us.

Phone calls

2010-08-02T22:42:00.003+02:00

On a Thursday evening, sometime at around 20:30...

The phone rang...

F: Sue, come join us - we´re going somewhere to hang out, etc...

S: Errr... I´m actually very comfy wearing my PJs!! Getting ready to go to bed...

F: What kind of excuse is THAT!!

...

On a Monday evening, sometime at around 22:00...

The phone rang...

F: Sue!!!!

S: Hi! How are you??!

F: Come over here! We´re going somewhere to hang out...

S: But I´m wearing my PJs already and I just washed my hair! It´s wet!!!

F: What KIND of excuse is THAT!!!!!!

P.S. Great friends are those who would call and call and call. You know who you are! ;-)

Sacher Café

2010-08-02T08:37:00.005+02:00

I finally visited the Sacher Café in Hotel Sacher, Vienna.

It was very beautiful, fashionable and classy but it was so touristy! Everyone was speaking in English! On our left was a couple from England and on our right was a couple from America and around us were people from Asian countries - mostly Japanese and Koreans.

And there was also an Austrian who ordered Turkish Coffee! (Apparently, they serve various coffees from all over the world...)

At the same time the Blue Danube by Johann Strauss was playing in the background.

So you can imagine the atmosphere of the place...

And the cake itself was really good although I´ve heard from various friends that it wasn´t as good as how they expected it to be but I simply love it!

I will definitely visit Sacher Café more often, as the experience is as good as eating the cake itself!

Malaysian Restaurant in Vienna

2010-07-29T08:39:00.004+02:00

... not exactly a restaurant but it actually existed here in Vienna!

I was so excited when I discovered it and I waited for about a month or so till I could actually try the food. (When I saw it, I was too full to even think of trying it). It´s actually a section in a Food Court in Millennium City.

It was terribly dissapointing.

I ordered Curry Laksa - noodles with curry broth but it wasn´t as how I expected it to be. First of all, the ingredients were not very fresh and it wasn´t made with... ´love´. It´s hard to put my finger on it - to describe the feeling - but it was simply not prepared with satisfaction.

This is what I noticed with all the Chinese food that I´ve eaten here in Austria - very different from the restaurants in London and there is only ONE restaurant in Graz that I´ve really enjoyed the food so far, the name of the restaurant is called Osaka.

It got me thinking on the actual problem. First of all is the lack of proper ingredients. There is always the same ´kind´ of cooking style. Besides that, it´s not exactly cheap and therefore whenever we decided to have Chinese food, we´re simply expecting it to be simply satisfying!!

The only solution is to cook myself! It would definitely be a challenge to cook Malaysian food here but so far, I´ve tried ´Cantonese Fried Noodles´ (my favourite!!) and Chicken rice.

Therefore my task for this summer is to cook more Malaysian food and to simply explore, experiment and enjoy!

McDonald´s

2010-07-29T08:30:00.003+02:00

I have always been a huge fan of McDonald´s. Till I met a bunch of really great people and that of course, they were also very health-conscious. One has a log on what she eats every day and I really do admire that. We ARE what we eat!

I wanted to order Chicken McNuggets because I had a sudden craving but I finally decided to order McChicken (the usual order for me!). I didn´t really enjoy it that much. As a matter of fact, I was seriously guilty with every bite that I consumed but the ambience and the environment in McCafé was really wonderful and I´ve always enjoyed having a meal there.

I have recently watched this documentary in Youtube - ´Super Size Me´and I was seriously affected with it. It must be said that of course it is not a smart thing to do to have McD´s 3 meals a day everyday! But it really did affect my perspective.

Besides that, I´ve also been cooking a lot on my own and eating more vegetables and fruits and that affected my tastebuds and preferences.

Boa Constrictor

2010-07-28T11:02:00.006+02:00

Last Sunday, there was a boa constrictor which escaped from its apartment. Apparently, it wasn´t even in a cage! Its owner left a window open and it escaped.

From the news on the radio, people were advised to:

1) close their windows at home and to encourage children to stay indoors.

2) not to kill every snake that they see as most of the snakes in Graz are not dangerous.

3) to inform the police when they see the snake ( the snake is 3 meters long!), and to stay where he or she is and wait till the police arrive (can you imagine the horror of standing and seeing a 3-meter-long snake?)

4) they repeated again and again that the animal is apparently not dangerous.

5) that it is apparently dangerous for the snake itself as it has just eaten a whole rabbit and that it might be poisonous if it is unable to digest it properly (as it needs a warmer temperature to do so (The weather is quite cool the past few days). (They are apparently very concerned for the welfare of the snake...)

But from the newspaper articles... here are the few details that they left out:

1) the day before it escaped, the snake apparently tried to eat the owner.

2) that he has already eaten a whole rabbit

3) as the weather is colder now, he would search for a warmer place

4) and that little children and home pets (like cats) must stay indoors

Note: I´m very lucky that it didn´t happen around my neighbourhood!

Update: The Boa Constrictor was actually found IN the apartment by an animal specialist as he was ´researching´ the apartment where it lives... and it has been transfered to a zoo in Salzburg!! And by the way, it´s name is Amanda!

Summer Holidays

2010-07-17T18:14:00.002+02:00

After so many weeks of studying and just studying and being worked up with this ´chasing our dreams´mantra and such, it´s kind of hard to relax and just.... RELAX!

I was about to fall asleep when suddenly there is this thought in my head: You won´t be successful in life if you take a nap now, you know. You should DO SOMETHING!

Interesting indeed!

But I have about 11 weeks of holiday so I might as well try to relax!

Have a Happy Summer!!

A Happy List

2010-07-16T14:23:00.004+02:00

I came across a lot of books where they encouraged us to list down the happy moments during the day before we go to bed. I think this is one of the best ways to keep track of the wonders of life and to simply remind us to be thankful and simply appreciate life. Here´s a little list that I´ve compiled for the day...

- Listening to classical music on the way back to my apartment. Someone was listening to ´Adagio for Strings´ by Samuel Barber.

- Listening to someone practicing singing at the corridor of my apartment.

- A neighbour´s son was looking up at me and wanted me to carry him... bliss!

- While cycling, I feel the wind on my face, blowing in my hair and I listened to the the birds chirping and at the same time, trying to remind myself to keep my mouth closed so that the insects flying across (or whatever else flying across my way) wouldn´t end up in my mouth! Eeeeeewww... (GROSS!!!)

One of the few that I could think of right now.

Give it a try, it´s tremendously rewarding!

Changes

2010-06-30T13:34:00.004+02:00

A lot of changes are happening right now.

First of all, I´m moving to another apartment and for it to be fully comfy, I think it takes about a week or so. And the current apartment smells of paint and to poo and pee without a door is not really pleasant!

They said that change is always good and it gives us strength and we grow but sometimes, during the change - it´s HARD! But I know, I know... just hang in there!

And... SOMMER IST DA!! (Summer is here!)

It´s amazing how the season affects the people here. There are more renovations, it´s definitely more happening and the people seem to be more up and about!

I´m also getting darker (tan is just a fancy word!)!!! Hmmmph! It´s just amazing, the amount of SPFs and lotions that I have to plop on myself before I step out of the door! And I´ve mentioned to a couple of friends here about using the umbrella while taking a walk or something but it´s unheard of. Nevertheless, I´ve seen some Asians in Vienna happily holding their fancy umbrellas. So there! But then again, I haven´t really used an umbrella when it´s sunny. Don´t have the guts, eh?

Anyway...

Here´s wishing you all a "Happy Summer everyone!"

Questions

2010-06-10T12:43:00.002+02:00

Met an old acquaintance via Facebook:

And we started to chat...

A: Hi! How are you?

M: I´m fine, thanks! And you?

A: I´m fine. It´s been ages.

M: Yes!

A: So... are you married and do you have a kid?

M: (Beginning to cringe...) No, single. And I guess you are married with a kid, yes?

A: Yes, I have a daughter.

M: Nice! (What else is there to say?!?!??)

(Awkward pause.)

....

And we never chat online again.

....

I should lighten up, seriously. (I know, I know!!!)

But it´s a good question:

Why is it that married people would like to know if the other person is married or not? Why not ask whether or not we are happy or contend or how do I find living in Austria, being far away from home, etc.?

Etiquette in Austria

2010-03-19T12:29:00.002+01:00

I always thought that I know how to behave or present myself here. But nevertheless, I learned a lot of the things that I should or should not do here (usually from my observance or when some friends kindly gave me a remark).

So here is a short summary on what I´ve learned so far:

DINING

- Once you have decided on your order, close the menu and lay it on the table, the waiter/waitress will approach you.

- When you are done with your food (as in finish eating, etc.), place your utencils (usually, a fork and a knife) together on the plate. This is a signal to the waiter/waitress that you are done with your food.

- Leave tips (optional if you are a student) about 10% from the amount of your bill. Usually, people would just round up the bill. For example, if the bill is 9.90€, you could just give the waiter/waitress 10.00 €.

- Do not use a knife to cut through the bread dumplings (Knödel). It is not very pleasing to the chef because it means it´s too hard.

INVITATIONS

- Usually, we don´t pop in to a friend´s place unasked. It is just unheard of. Maybe if you are VERY close to the person, that is a possibility.

- If you are invited to go to a friend´s place for lunch or dinner, usually be late for about 10 minutes or be punctual.

- As a guest, you don´t need to help out or whatever it is that you need to do in preparation for the meal.

- After the dessert, you can stay for a few minutes or so and then, you should leave. Unless you are invited to have coffee and to chat. Nevertheless, it is uncommon to stay for long. I guess when you are close or invited informally, I think it is definitely okay to stay!!

These are the few observances. I will add more in time!!

Patron Saint of Austria

2010-03-19T12:10:00.002+01:00

St. Joseph is the patron saint of Austria and also for the provinces: Styria (Steiermark) and Carinthia (Kärnten). Therefore we are enjoying a holiday for schools and universities here in Styria today.

St. Joseph is also the patron saint of many other countries including Canada, Belgium, Peru, Vietnam, Korea and China.

Expectant mothers, workers and immigrants also pray for his intercession.

St. Joseph, pray for us!

In a Café

2010-03-19T11:53:00.004+01:00

I am sitting in a café... again and this is one the places that I could seriously write! *sigh* The wonders of cafés!!!

Anyway...

Sitting opposite of me is a couple and they are busy kissing and they can´t seem to keep their hands off each other. Why don´t they just go back home or something?!

PDA = Public Displays of Affection

I don´t have any problems with PDAs but come on, is it necessary?!?!?

And of course, they would kiss so noisily! I am sitting about 3 meters away from this said couple but they are kissing very noisily! So, here I am sitting alone with this other woman sitting by the table next to me and we are both enjoying our coffee/ice cream...

But I guess there IS a certain so-called 'excitement' in kissing LOUDLY and chewing each other´s mouths in public!

(Okay, okay... maybe I´m turning to be a grumpy old maid... )

P.S. I just made eye contact with the said other woman and we just laughed silently!!!

Are you from America?

2010-02-24T12:59:00.003+01:00

Comments for speaking in 'somewhat' good English:

* Wow... your English is ALMOST like an American...

* Are you from America? Which part?

* You can ALMOST speak in English as good as me...

* Well... speaking like an American doesn´t mean that you can speak good English, you know...

* Where are you from exactly???!!

* So... what exactly are you??!

Time!

2009-10-27T16:26:00.003+01:00

I was happily waiting for J to come over for a 'study' group at 1.30pm. Of course, I was all geared up and excited...

1.15: Waited...

1.20: Still waiting and anticipating phone call in case she's not sure where is my apartment...

1.30: Still waiting... decided to read a book...

1.45: Hmmm...

2.00: Decided to just... continue reading my book...

2.15: SHE STOOD ME UP!! Hmmmph!

2.20: Decided to start preparing lunch and started preparing to cook spaghetti bolognaise...

2.35: J called... "Hi! Where is your apartment?!"

"I thought that our meeting is supposed to be at 1.30pm??!!" (Trying to be cool...)

"My dear, are you aware that the time has changed? It's one hour behind now!"

"Oh!" Feeling rather.... foolish...

Then, I told her that I didn't know and... well, we had a great time trying to study but instead, we were chatting more rather...

Well... there was an indication on my computer that the time changed but I thought I did something to it so I changed it back! HAH!

"Very pretty..."

2009-10-26T14:37:00.006+01:00

I was having a cup of coffee in a cafe.

And there was a little, very nicely dressed lady; having lunch with her little son, who was about 3 years old and with a little dog! The dog was dressed to! But it's necessary as it was quite cold.

They were talking in English (instead of German - surprise surprise!) and of course, I could understand everything. It was kind of difficult trying to ignore the commotion right in from of me because the lady was talking or rather, trying to reprimand her son to sit still as they were having lunch and for a boy his age, he was being rather restless!

And then, this boy noticed me and I gave him a smile. He smiled in return and of course, he kepts on smiling at me now and then. I returned to my book and of course, tried to pay attention!

I over heard him telling his mom something and as I looked up, she smiled at me and I smiled in return. It was one of those moments as if we knew each other. It's a nice feeling to share a smile even with a stranger!

And then, we exchanged a few remarks and of course, his son never ceased to look and smile at me!

His mother noticed him smiling at me and said, "He was saying that the lady opposite is very pretty!"

I burst into laughter and I said, "He is very charming as well!"

"And he is already learning to flirt!", she replied and we burst into laughter!

It was really funny and terribly flattering and of course, it really made my day!

It's nice to receive compliments, even from a 3-year-old!

Should I or should I not?!

2009-09-02T17:47:00.004+02:00

I've been studying (and browsing the Internet as well... ) and evening approaches. The weather website forecasted rain and it's not raining at all! So now, I have the obligation (according to my schedule) that I should go for a jog...

But...

I'm terribly LAZY!!

Before I jog, I have to do the following...

1) Put on my contact lenses (I feel strange running with glasses),

2) Change to my running clothes, and

3) Wear my socks and sport shoes!

... *sigh*

But the pros of going out is that I get to:

1) enjoy the weather... it's not too cold and the sun is definitely hidden behind the clouds! Besides, autumn is approaching so I should make the best use of the end of summer!!!

2) eliminate this shoulder and back aches that I'm having now...

3) relaxes my mind...

Hmmmm....

Okay, I really should get my butt moving!!

So, here goes!

The Girl Walking Opposite

2009-07-08T22:10:00.005+02:00

Mel was happily jogging... or rather, puffing her way one pleasant evening.

She signed up for this about.com site where she is to take a walk/jog daily. But as she was holding her mobile as her timer and trying hard to jog to a certain rhythm, she noticed another who was walking with those Nordic sticks; in the opposite direction towards her.

She was of medium built but she was walking earnestly and with determination and she was alone.

She was also blind.

So Mel was thinking to herself, "Here I am, being able and healthy and it is so hard to be an active person but yet here she is, as able as can be and in truth - even more capable than me..."

New Wheels

2009-07-08T21:48:00.005+02:00

The wonders of cycling...

... a dream came true!

But I didn't know that:

1) it hurts my bum for a few days!

2) I don't exactly have the said stamina so, whenever I see a hill - I hop off the bike and just walk instead... pant pant pant...

3) I was cycling quite fast, being rather proud of myself and as I wanted to go up the curb, I lost control and I fell... and I was... SPEECHLESS!! I didn't actually fall but I just hopped off the bike. My poor, poor bike!! And it was only a few days old!!

Of course, I held my head high and being Austrians, the people around me pretended nothing happened and I, DEFINITELY pretended that it didn't happened...

4) While I was pedalling - my thoughts in my mind: "I think I prefer a car!"

5) When it rains, I tell myself yet again - a car is so much better!

But the bottom line: I still love my new bike and I'm proud of myself... after all, it's definitely healthier and it's kinder to Nature.

Why?

2009-06-19T20:19:00.004+02:00

30 May 2009

Teacher, can I ask you a question?

Yes? (Feeling rather curious!)

Why did you stop teaching us?

*Pause* and then I replied: I guess it is because I wanted to continue my studies?

Why don't you just quit and continue teaching us?

Feeling rather shocked and at that moment, I felt tears welling up my eyes and just mumbled something incoherent....

Long Lost

2009-06-19T12:01:00.005+02:00

Hello everyone!

I'M BACK!!

I have to admit that I have not written much (or rather, at all!!) since I went back to Malaysia for a couple of months. Terrible, I know! I will surely write more because somehow, I'm more 'inspired' here in Austria. Besides, I should spend sometime everyday to write more because I noticed that my English has deteriorated since I came back to Austria because I've spoken more Cantonese at home and it's horrendous when you noticed all these wrong grammars!! It's worst when you are aware of it!!

A note to my students whom I've not been keping in touch:

I'm so sorry, my dears... but I will be going back to Malaysia again and this time, we'll definitely meet up sometime soon. *with hugs and kisses*

SNOW!!

2009-02-02T17:21:00.001+01:00

There’s so much snow - snow falling everywhere.

At night, when her eyes are closed – she could still see the shape of the snow still falling in front of her eyes. From the endless, forlorn, cloudy sky.

But it is nothing forlorn when it snows, when it is without any trouble – that is. When life still goes on – people still goes to work, children still goes to school.

It falls slowly – sometimes with more consistency, sometimes with just a few flakes. It falls onto the ground and it slowly builds up.

You hear exclamations everywhere including from your own lips. Simply because the sight of the snow is a wonder to behold.

“Yes, it’s snowing!”

And it gives much warmth to the heart although you will feel chilled physically.

Perhaps, it is the time when you will want to make snow angels and snowmen and to have snowball fights! You grow up not knowing what it is all about but you just stared at your TV in awe and in wonder when it showed some snow scene in your childhood years. Calm, beautiful and white landscape.

“Yes, it IS snowing. Let it fall, fall and fall…”

"Art"

2009-02-02T15:25:00.003+01:00

She tries VERY hard to look at a picture. Or rather, to UNDERSTAND the so-called art.

The 'art' looks something like this:

Sketches of some erotic positions but distorted… Obviously some expression of written words but in German…

Expression of the said person: Huh?!?!?

Note: It is either she’s too stupid to understand the art, or vice versa. Give me a Monet or Schiele anytime... It's easier...

Fun

2009-02-02T15:09:00.003+01:00

What is the ‘true’ definition of fun?! There are a bunch of people who loves to go out and hang out with friends. They get ‘energized’ when they are with people. They love to spend as much time as possible with friends and getting to know even MORE friends.

Some people would prefer to laze in bed, read books and simply… laze. They also prefer to spend their time in front of the ‘informative’ box (aka the TV) and muse over the series that they LOVE to watch (be it CSI, Desperate Housewives, etc.). Some would spend their time with their other half (husband/wives) and children or in-laws. On the other hand, there are people who are REALLY into their hobbies and stuff (like golf, video games (if you can consider THAT as a hobby), etc.)

It’s definitely very personal and no matter what you like to do – how you want to spend your time, so be it!!

Oh by the way - sometimes, the mundane could be quite pleasing too!!

Blogging

2009-02-02T14:48:00.001+01:00

I’m actually following some blogs – blogs belonging to friends and writers. It is only recently that I’ve started writing in this blog and I thought that it is very interesting that there are actually people who would read it and I love to look at the comments. It doesn’t really matter what the comments might be but it makes me feel really good that there are people who would read it. My blog doesn’t get that many hits but I’m not complaining. It is something that I’d like to share with my friends and who ever it is who would like read this blog.

Why would people want to blog and who would read them? Why is it that there are so many people who would want to share their views, thoughts or to share their passion for something?

I think that blogs are one of the best means to share with the world and everyone is hooked on the Internet nowadays. It doesn’t matter if it is as trivial as talking about your life but I think it helps the writer itself – how should I put it, it helps the writer to just ‘let go’. There are some who wrote in their blogs to share their views or to open up their feelings. Some of them write it like a journal, for them to share what happened in their every day lives. It is with this kind of simplicity that it helps us to appreciate what our life is, isn’t it? Some form of a ‘thanksgiving’ after a hard day of work. Others would feature what that interest them – photography, book reviews, food reviews, travel reviews, etc. I’ve gained a lot reading from these websites.

I’ve come across a blog that’s quite interesting:

http://thebookaholic.blogspot.com/

She wrote some book reviews and I’ve came across some interesting authors from her. I thought she’s rather informative too!

And I also came across this website:

http://www.authonomy.com/

It actually features your own works – books that you hope to get published one day. It is actually maintained by the Harper Collins publishing house (and they give reviews on it) and it is a means for them to reach out to new authors using the Internet. This site was criticized because it is not sure whether or not your popularity determines the criteria rather than your work that you publish (because it depends a lot on your popularity in the WWW). Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading some works from this website and it’s practically free!

I do know for a fact that writing helps people to ‘focus’. And it is a means of expressing oneself. It is definitely a means for me but I have to admit that it is when I am most down that I can’t bring myself to write. This has happened lately but many years ago, I will start writing when I was really down. It helps to materialize our thoughts into something more substantial – some form of matter where you could view your thoughts and this is a powerful tool indeed! A lot of gurus and experts on self-help usually come out with this form. They would ask you to write down everything that you want.

There are many who follow Paulo Coelho’s and from what I read, there are as many as 220000 hits a month. He is gonna publish a new book soon – it’s out in March 2009 in the UK. It’s called ‘The Winner Stands Alone’. I’m sure it’s gonna be another huge hit and I’m looking very much forward to it! He published the first 2 chapters in his website and I thought it is a very good means of reaching out to his readers.

Chinese New Year

2009-02-02T14:43:00.003+01:00

24 January 2009

It is the year of the Ox.

It’s Chinese New Year this coming Monday. I’ve been cleaning this weekend so that I don’t need to do any sort of cleaning on New Year’s Day. I’ve made it a point to call my family tomorrow (Sunday) as it’s the very important Chinese New Year’s Eve dinner.

What do we do at home?

First of all, I will usually be the one decorating the house and cleaning while my mom would prepare dishes for dinner at night. Most of the dishes served have a certain meaning to it and most Chinese families would serve these dishes. One of the examples is leek where it is called ‘shuen’ in Chinese – where we hope to ‘shuen’ (count) lots of money this New Year!

One of the highlights is the ‘lo sang’. We will gather to mix the mixture (consists of peanuts, sliced vegetables, crackers, etc.) with chopsticks. We will say out loud what we want to achieve for the New Year’s. I think I’ll probably do that with mixed salad!

Before the day of Chinese New Year approaches, we would ‘hide’ all those floor cleaners, brooms, etc. into the storeroom and we are not allowed to clean the house at all on the day itself. It’s considered ‘bad luck’ to sweep away all the ‘good luck’ the New Year brings.

Usually, we’ll wear something red on Chinese New Year day.

The Chinese New Year celebration lasts for 15 days. We will visit friends and relatives to exchange ‘kam’ (mandarin oranges – ‘kam’ means gold) and some goods (in a paper bag, usually – we can put in biscuits, cakes, chocolates, etc.) and for those who are not married yet, we will get ‘ang paus’ (red packets with money).

It is very different for me as there aren't many Chinese here. It is a rather quiet affair and it is a time when I will think most about my family and friends...

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!!!!

(Wishing you prosperity!!!!)

No Matter What...

2009-01-21T00:06:00.001+01:00

Quote:

"It doesn’t change anything between us even when you didn’t tell me that you are leaving…"

Thank you, my dear – for your unconditional love and friendship.

Misunderstandings

2009-01-21T00:04:00.003+01:00

Thoughts on her mind:

“It is so sad. Why wouldn’t she call or contact me? She shifted out but well… it is not typical for the people here to invite themselves over!! So, why wouldn’t she call me? She doesn’t like me anymore? She doesn’t want to be my friend anymore???”

A text message sent to her recently:

“Hi, how come I haven’t heard from you? I hope all is well with you.”

Now, she REALLY feels like knocking her own head with a hammer!!

“If she wouldn’t send me a text message, I would wait for her to make the move and she would wait to hear from me as well…” *sigh*

Lesson learned: It only takes a little effort to just make the move: just a phone call, just a text message and just an email…

Note: She did send her an email but she can’t go online at the moment…

Positivity

2009-01-20T12:09:00.003+01:00

What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: Which do we want more of?

Julia Cameron

(Taken from www.inspirationpeak.com)

Reading ‘Serious’ Literature…

2009-01-20T00:22:00.006+01:00

I’ve been reading the Vampire series from Stephanie Meyer. I’ve read the first two books from the series so far – Twilight and New Moon. I was contemplating whether or not to buy these books because I wasn’t sure if I would like it but I got the second book from my cousin for Christmas so, I decided to buy the first installment of the series. I enjoyed every minute of it! I’m looking forward to read the third book and I’ll get it very soon.

At the mean time, I’m reading Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter.

Well… I have to say that it is absolutely different. I can’t exactly ‘speed read’ this one because somehow, I wanted to soak in his words – word for word, that is. And it is definitely more difficult to comprehend. It’s been sometime since I read anything ‘serious’ so let’s see how it goes. But who knows, I’ll just ditch it for more vampire actions…

I'm Sorry

2009-01-20T00:22:00.004+01:00

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m sorry. I do not know what I want but…”

“Do you know what you are saying?”

Silence…

“Don’t you want to get married and be with me? What am I to you?”

“You are the one I want but I don’t know why I’m feeling this. I need to find out but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But you are already hurting me.”

Silence…

She sat on the floor as she cried. She felt so desperately alone. The man she loves is no longer a man she knows. He’s now a stranger. There’s nothing that she could do but she knows that she has to leave. She has to let go…

“I’ll go now. Goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I love you.”

Silence…

As she walked away, tears streaming down her face – hoping in her heart that he would come after her but knowing that he won’t. It really is the end. This is good bye. How many hearts were broken every minute, of every day? How many tears are shed at this very moment?

~

Breaking up IS hard and loosing someone who means so much to us IS difficult.

But time heals and life goes on… memories will fade and this is part of life, part of growing up and part of finding ourselves on the way…

DVDs

2009-01-20T00:21:00.002+01:00

I was watching this movie called ‘The Stone Family’ starring Diane Keaton, Claire Danes and Sarah Jessica Parker. It helps to watch these movies in German with German subtitles (to understand German better) and I watch it so many times that I know what they are talking about.

I was watching some additional features in the movie and one of it was ‘the making’ of the movie. They interviewed people who were involved at the back of the scenes including the fashion designers. Somehow, there are many technical aspects of it even in fashion. They really do put in a lot of effort and they pointed out some interesting things from the movie that I would never notice if it was not for them mentioning it.

I love DVDs now. I’ve never watched a movie since I came here but I’ve been watching a lot of DVDs. I do appreciate it but I can never understand why it is so expensive in Malaysia!

One of my favourite movies is Pride and Prejudice. I’ll see if I should get the DVD version of it because the VCD version of it is REALLY BAD. It’s like a pirated version actually. Terribly annoying!

Consequences

2009-01-20T00:19:00.001+01:00

Looking ahead of her – there are two bends on the road. One to the right, one to the left.

Why must life be so complicating? Perhaps, life is NEVER complicated but somehow, this is something that we have to deal with.

Making choices.

It will never be – that one is right and the other is wrong because it will simply lead us to different sets of consequences.

Don’t you think it will help if we KNOW what is to be when we make a simple choice – from one to the other?

There is much to contemplate, much to ponder, much to muse about but once we MAKE that decision, once we DO it and act on it – the consequence is there.

Be not afraid, they say… of making mistakes.

But NEVER make the same mistakes… TWICE.

They say…

Letting Go

2009-01-19T23:57:00.003+01:00

I’ve mentioned this writer before in my previous blog; she was homeless and lived in a car and through her blog, she was discovered and she has published a book of her own – relating about her life. She mentioned how she was sexually abused by an ‘uncle’ and how she was not wanted as a child as she was born out of illegitimately.

I do visit her website now and then and I’ve read that Christmas time is not a very good time for her. It is not a time where she looks forward to spend it with her friends and family. This is because of her book and well… her family ostracized her. I guess it is because of anger and the humiliation but this got me thinking.

How do you actually deal with something like this? If this happened to you and you were given a choice to write a book, would you actually do it? Would you tell this dark secret and inevitably hurt the people around you? Of course, that man who did it definitely deserved it but what about the other family members who were innocent?

How is it then, when you have to let go and tell the truth that hurts, something as serious as sexual abuse in your family and getting your book published but yet, you do not have any family members to share the Christmas season with. My hearts goes out for her.

There are so many secrets that we can never share with ANYONE and we can never, EVER tell anybody because of the word ‘honour’ for the family.

There are so many people out there who experienced some sort of sexual or verbal abuse and we just can’t do anything or even say anything and some of us have to bring it to our graves for the sake of… 'honour'? What is this all about when our family is supposed to give us love and shelter?

I think this is something that we can ponder about...

Mother’s Love

2009-01-19T23:53:00.002+01:00

17 January 2009

I’m wearing this pendant that my mom gave me recently. My mom and sister came over to visit me for two weeks and it was a wonderful time with them.

I call this pendant ‘Mother’s Love’. (It has a different name, definitely…)

There are actually some reasons why she gave me this pendant. According to her, it’s actually made of volcanic materials from Japan (if I’m not mistaken) and it’s supposed to be really good for health in terms of balance (I’m not too sure what kind of balance but it seems, we could even loose weight wearing this pendant… hmmm...). I reckon it’s something to do with ‘chi’ or energy. I asked her for more details but she couldn’t exactly explain it to me. One of the coolest things about this is that it would actually turn warm when it’s near the skin and when I take it off, it will be really cold.

Frankly speaking, I wouldn’t wear it but I think of this pendant as my mother’s love. I’m sure she hopes that I’m well, happy and safe and every time I put it on, I think about it as my mother’s love. It gives me much warmth just to think about it.

Schnee!

2009-01-12T23:55:00.004+01:00

25 December 2008

Wow… very interesting day today!

I couldn’t sleep very well last night because dad called me twice in the middle of the night – at about 3 something in the morning! They wanted to wish me but I was rather dazed to know what we really talked about. It was wonderful to hear from them though.

I woke up this morning and lo and behold, it was SNOWING!

I was ecstatic! I commented without thinking, “God is so nice!” and now that I’m writing about it, I feel a bit foolish. But isn’t it that God IS good? I’ve actually given up on snow because since early December, it hasn’t been snowing at all in Graz but… wonders shall never cease to end and this is very good.

A white Christmas…

I’m spending Christmas alone but I’m full of… how to say… ‘love’ in my heart. It is one of the most wonderful feelings. Maybe I’m trying to make the best of what I have now but I’m really glad and delighted with everything.

I went to church and it was really nice. We sang Silent Night in German but they switched off the lights and as I obviously do not know the words, I had to use my mobile light to sing along! I really love the feeling of singing – with the darkness and with the wonderful voices of the congregation.

Frohe Weihnachten!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Gifts

2009-01-12T23:51:00.004+01:00

26 December 2008

I actually made the Christmas presents this year. I decided to do this because I want to safe some money and a friend of mine actually gave me some materials to work on including a really good book with lots of ideas.

I made it into little cards and I really hope they like it. It’s something REALLY simple but it’s done with much love and effort.

I also received some Christmas presents and… what can I say? They are all so thoughtful and I’m most touched!

Talking about gifts…

… I think it is hard to ask for something that you REALLY want. But sometimes, it’s your friends who would notice the little things and that you don’t need a single word to tell them what you REALLY want for Christmas. It is those times when you would stare at a window of those cute teddy bears or when you ogle at them every time you past the window. It is those times when they know you’ll be alone and they will simply buy you a DVD to accompany you to past the time (and to help with my German studies) or that they buy you something to hang on the bare wall. Or for your family who would send money over for my well being because they worry that I don’t eat enough.

What can I say?

I’m most loved and most fortunate in EVERY WAY.

I just want to say thank you (DANKE SCHÖN!) for all the wishes and all the gifts. It is most appreciated!!

Before and After

2009-01-12T23:44:00.006+01:00

23 December 2008

A friend of mine gave me a plant. It’s called the Christmas Star here and I was really pleased...

But… the problem is…

...it started to shed all its leaves and he (this friend who gave me the plant) was shaking his head when he noticed it a few weeks later. It looks like this miserable, scrawny plant that is left… withering at a corner of a room but I look at it everyday! I even ‘talk’ to it (but another friend commented that perhaps – the plant speaks in German?!) and I made sure there is enough water for it to sustain but it simply continued to wither and every day, there are definitely 1 or 2 pieces of leaves at the base of the pot – simply faded away…

Tragic!

So, what is the problem? I think that my room was a bit too warm because of the heating so I decided to put it outside at the dining table and thank goodness it stopped shedding its leaves.

I decided to ask a professional gardener in a shop to ‘revive’ it. I even took a photo of it and showed her. She was laughing like mad (I was trying to keep my composure because, after all – I’m rather concerned…) and she said that I should put in more water and NOT to put it in a room with too much heating.

*sigh*

Laugh if you must but… well, I will try my best! And I will speak in German to it… Wie gehts heute?

Work it, Babe!

2009-01-12T23:39:00.002+01:00

23 December 2008

Since I’ve arrived here in Austria, I don’t have a car to drive anymore. Since I would like to play a part for Mother Nature, I try to walk whenever possible and I TRY not to take the tram. This actually changed my life. Of course, there’s no doubt that I actually yearned for my car and debated in my head NUMEROUS times whether or not I should simply hop on the tram when I’m simply too lazy to walk. Nevertheless, with this little change; I’m definitely a happier person.

Now I understand why people would spend time and money on sports and that somehow, they are actually addicted to it. When we’re in motion, our body is actually functioning better and I think that we’re more productive in every other aspect of our lives.

Yehudi Menuhin is one of the most famous violinists ever. He wrote a book and at the beginning of it, he explained how he spent his mornings doing body exercises – from head to toe. All other forms of performing arts actually require the performer to stretch or warm up his or her body. Sportsmen definitely need to do so and I’ve been thinking, why aren’t the other occupations does not require them to exercise likewise? (e.g. office work, etc.)

It’s really interesting but a lot of my ideas for my writings are all stemmed when I’m walking and I read that Paulo Coelho spent most of his mornings walking in the woods or doing archery.

Therefore, we just NEED to make a point in our day to just spend sometime taking a walk or simply to engage in a sport that you will enjoy.

It takes a lot of effort and discipline (I definitely know this… I used to join the gym and I NEVER as often as I should) but all it takes is just a little effort. And when I was walking, I noticed a lot of mothers here running while pushing their babies in a stroller. (Would wonders never cease?) If busy mothers could do it, why not us?! So… work-it, babe!

Christmas with the Family

2009-01-12T23:38:00.003+01:00

21 December 2008

This is the second year I’m not with my family at home in Malaysia. The first time was when I was London. Christmas is a time for family and friends. There are friends who are spending every minute of it with their families but I also have friends who took the holiday opportunities to travel.

I always spent Christmas with my family and friends. With my family - we will have dinner at home, attend Mass together and exchange presents. And always after that, I will meet up with some friends in a pub to hang out. I do the same with New Year’s Eve.

I’m spending Christmas alone this year. I decided not to do anything for some reasons – without family and friends. It is the strangest feeling and the strangest experience. I will usually be the one who would decorate the house, arrange Christmas dinner or lunch with my family and initiate to meet up with friends. It is definitely a busy time for me.

It made me think about all those people who have to spend Christmas or New Year’s Eve alone. I do not know who they are or what they are going through to spend it all alone. Perhaps, it is by choice or perhaps of some other reasons.

Is it sad that we have to spend Christmas alone?

Perhaps, it is – perhaps not.

There is a feeling of loneliness but on the other hand, it really did make me think about how I’ve spent it the past few years. It made me grateful for what I’ve had or rather, what I have. I’m very glad for having a family and for having friends who love me and I’m also glad that I’m alone here but I’m very sure, that there are a lot of people who would think and miss me at this time of the year…

Writing without Barriers

2009-01-12T23:36:00.001+01:00

20 December 2008

I actually have a plot in mind and I’ve started writing a book. Finally! I really love writing and I’ve been writing somewhat since I was young but I never do it seriously. I’m really glad that I would actually do this and it takes a lot of courage because what if I just couldn’t write at all? What if I send it to the publisher and they don’t like it and they will send me a little note with my book and say, “I’m very sorry, Miss Lim but we’re afraid what you’ve written is not what we’re looking for now.” But oh well, if I never try, I’ll never know. Anyway, I find that I am more careful with my grammar so what I’ve been writing is rather… how should I describe it… careful? It is absolutely different when I write on my journal (I really write carelessly and when I read again, I usually look at myself with horror at the grammatical mistakes that I’ve done!) but it is a totally different thing altogether when you want to publish it, right? We SHOULD have all the proper grammar and it is an absolute no, no to write with grammatical mistakes.

I was reading about Paulo Coelho and he was criticized for writing badly with grammatical errors and his writing is too simplistic (I didn’t know there was such a thing as writing too simply – in art, there is a style where it’s called minimalism so, what is the problem with writing simply?). Nevertheless, we all know he is so famous and his writing has inspired so many of us. So, does it matter if your grammar is right or wrong? Perhaps, this is the reason why we have editors!

I think that being a writer, we have so many responsibilities and I don’t think I know enough or experienced enough to actually write. But I think writing is a journey and this is the journey that I really enjoyed so far and I’m very glad of this. As they say, ‘the gain is actually not on the end but it is the journey to the end’ (?)

I remembered learning about Beethoven and he is one composer who would strive unceasingly to write his music again and again so that he is finally pleased with the result and that it is perfect. He is so different to be compared to Mozart who writes without any care and with less effort. It is amazing how different these two composers are in this manner but could we argue who is actually the better composer between the both of them? I personally love Beethoven’s work but I’ve been working more of Mozart pieces lately and discovering a lot from this.

Who is actually the better composer – Beethoven or Mozart?

Nevertheless, with all these artists working so hard to perfect their work – it should give me and all of us much inspiration to know that everyone has their own ‘personal aspiration’ to do and to leave in this world. I think to be a writer is to inspire and to educate your readers; to give them something to ponder and to simply, improve their lives.

By the way, Paulo Coelho first published his work when he was 38 years old. I think that’s inspiring enough, don’t you think? When I read that, I had hopes in me that cannot be suppressed because I thought being 28 is a bit too ‘old’ to want to do something so different in my life after all these years.

ABC Soup

2009-01-12T23:35:00.001+01:00

20 December 2008

I finally did it! I finally boiled soup today WITHOUT putting in any chicken stock cubes! Bravo! (Applause everyone!)

It’s not a big deal but it is a big deal for me! I’ve NEVER, EVER boiled soup without putting these chicken stocks because I simply didn’t think that it will taste right without it. This time, I decided to put a bit of salt without the cubes and when I tasted it, it was surprisingly good!

My sister and mom told me that I don’t need to boil soup with chicken stocks only but I refused to listen to them. When I think that I could only cook soup with chicken stocks, I will ONLY boil soup with chicken stocks. I guess this is what you call by stubbornness and simply refusing to take advice.

It is the little event like this that we can observe and turn it into a learning experience. This is very much like me. I am the type of person that wouldn’t order anything besides the usual. For example, when I was studying in London, every time I’m in McDonald’s, I would order Fish Burger. Always. Without fail.

My friends noticed this and they would reprimand me for it. There are so many choices! The last years in Malaysia, I always order this Chicken Foldover meal. They don’t have it here in Austria though so I will always order McChicken when I visit McDonald’s here now.

Anyway, lesson learned in cooking and also in life – there’s more to it than what meets the eye, isn’t it? We always look at something at an angle but if we just take the effort to look at it in a different way, we will definitely gain more. Even if it is as difficult as to simply MAKE the effort to look at things a different way, simply to choose to do it differently, it adds more spice into our daily, mundane task.

Just a note; what on earth – is ABC soup?

Everyone in Malaysia knows this. I grew up with it and all of us (especially children) at home simply love it. These are the ingredients that I’ve added into the soup: sliced onions, potatoes, carrots and chicken and bring it to boil and simmer for about 1 hour or more. In Chinese cooking, boiling soup needs time. It is better to boil soup at a low temperature and to let it simmer.

Simple as A, B, C! I guess that is why we call it ABC soup - simply because of the simplicity of making it. I think we could also add it some cut tomatoes. What else? Please write in if you have any other more ingredients that I can add in.

Women

2009-01-12T23:32:00.002+01:00

20 December 2008

When you are blowing things out of proportion, when you are snapping at everything and at everyone (especially the people you love) and with just the most insignificant matter, you suddenly burst into tears… this happened to you before, right? It sounds all too familiar? Especially when your other half/or even some of your friends would wryly ask you, “Is this that time of the month?”

This ‘phenomena’… is what we call pre-menstrual syndrome or better known at ‘the’ PMS. Almost all women have this and I’ve never met a girl friend who doesn’t have this problem. One of the worst things is to ‘feel’. Everything in every aspect is so LOW.

Sometimes, feelings are just as unpredictable as the world current affairs but we just need to hang on to our hopes that everything will be OK and to always, ALWAYS believe that all will be fine. I’ve read heaps of books about this and one of them are by Kristine Larson “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women”. It has very helpful ideas such as; to continue with your exercise regime although you don’t feel like it at all, spend time with your girlfriends for support and so on.

At this time, you will feel that everything is just not right but we just need to keep cool and just to… how should I put it… to lay low? But then again (as everyone knows), it’s definitely easier said than done.

I think the best for you (and me) is just to KEEP AWAY.

Or simply to hang this sign around my neck…

BEWARE or I SHALL BITE!!!

Or every time I said no, or every time I say ‘It doesn’t matter’ or ‘Never mind’, please take note: I DO MIND and when I said no, I mean YES. And that EVERYTHING MATTERS!!! Do I need to say more?!

FAT

2009-01-12T23:23:00.003+01:00

19 December 2008

Not too recently, a friend of mine commented in her ‘status’ in Facebook that she has been ‘eating and eating’. I was curious and I wanted to comment and ask, ‘what have you been eating?’ But there is a comment posted underneath, ‘don’t eat too much – might get fat’ or something like that. I can remember that she mentioned F-A-T.

I was a bit PEEVED, to put in a milder word when I read that comment.

RIGHT!

I know this particular friend has NEVER been fat! I understand how it feels like to love to eat and to be ‘warned’ from all relatives and friends (with much concern) about eating too much and so on and so forth. If she likes to eat, LET HER EAT. If she wants to be fat, LET HER BE FAT!

I like something that Rhonda wrote in her book (from The Secret) about thinking FAT thoughts. If we think we’re fat, we WILL be fat. If we ‘think’ that the food that we have consumed will make us fat, we WILL be fat. Simple as that! So girls… let’s think THIN thoughts.

Since I’ve been here, I’m most happy with my figure now. It is not that I haven’t been eating but I’m simply more comfortable with my lifestyle and I really enjoy and appreciate the food that I put on my table. I don’t eat when I’m sad or when I’m depressed but I simply eat because I need it for sustenance.

There’s simply more to life than being obsessed with your weigh, my dears…

Note: I noticed this photo I posted here when I was in Malaysia - on the way to meet up with some girlfriends for a sumptuous lunch before I came to Austria. It was in August 2008. I was.... really, really, really PISSED OFF!!

I was really tempted to scratch his/her car....

Friendship

2008-12-18T19:36:00.005+01:00

A few days ago, I noticed that my sister had a reunion with her primary 6 school friends. I know some of them personally and well… they look really different now! They made a Facebook group for their class and it was interesting to look at their photos.

I do keep in touch with a lot of my school friends and I think there are so many ways now to keep in touch with one another. There was a time in my life that I didn’t really bother to do this but no matter how much we have changed or no matter what we are doing in life now, it is always a pleasant feeling to know that we have friends who know us and whom we could rely on.

Nevertheless, there are some friends who chose not to keep in touch with their school friends. Of course, they must have their own reasons to do so and they definitely have their own set of friends now. Somehow, they prefer not to be in touch with one another.

Being away from Malaysia, it brings me so much pleasure to receive a phone call, an email or even a message in Facebook. The world is a smaller place now with the wonders of technology but nothing can be compared to chatting in person over a cup of coffee/tea or sharing a hug. But for now, I am most content if I receive emails from friends or relatives…

…Christmas is around the corner! Friends and family members are the people that you think most at this time. For the past 2 or 3 years or so, I’ve been spending Christmas and New Year with a friend of mine without fail and that we always go to the same pub (ahem! And believe it or not – we’ve won trips in their lucky draws 2 years in a row!!) This is the first year that we’re not spending it together… I hope she knows that she’s always in my mind and that we’ll definitely keep in touch no matter what…

And for my other friends whom I've known since kindergarten, primary school, secondary school and in my tertiary education; for students and their parents - parents who are now close friends of mine; for these wonderful friends whom I've gotten to know here in Austria... here's wishing you a merry Christmas and a healthy, joyous and blessed New Year!

Frohe Weihnachten!

Loneliness

2008-12-18T00:48:00.001+01:00

Recently, I had a friend who asked me if I have been feeling lonely. I was rather surprised that she noticed! She’s in Singapore and I’m here in Austria!

She noticed it through my blogs…

The wonder of reading between the lines!

I’m glad and a bit shy about this actually…

Writing to me has always been personal and to decide to write and post it up as blogs are definitely very personal to me as well. It’s like the ‘window’ to my thoughts…

And what it is all about to have friends who would read the blogs that I’ve posted here.

First of all, (YOU know who you are, R) thank you for being so concerned and your messages are really comforting. I really appreciate it and do, do keep in touch always…

It is something that I’ve been feeling lately. I don’t think loneliness is a bad thing; it is just a feeling – like a mood. I’m trying to experience it in a more optimistic way. It is definitely because of Christmas where I will usually have plans and such with family and friends if I am back in Malaysia. The only time I was not around was when I was in London in 2001.

I wish with all my heart that you all have a wonderful, happy Christmas time with your friends and family and an exciting and blessed New Year.

And just wanted to thank YOU for reading my blogs! ^_^

More to come…

‘Heatiness’

2008-12-18T00:32:00.001+01:00

The word 'heatiness' does not exist in Microsoft Word.

I tried to look for it in dictionary.com but it doesn't exist so I tried to google it and here it goes:

'Heatiness' - a characteristic of certain foods or stimulants said to cause emotional or physical reactions associated with temper, fever, passion, excess, or true heat. (Chinese culture and medicine)

http://www.doubletongued.org/index.php/dictionary/heatiness/

Anyway, I recently had an ulcer on my tongue and I think it was because I have been eating rather a lot of Christmas cookies recently. So, being Chinese… I thought that I was too ‘heaty’. The first thing that I would do is to drink some Chinese herbal soup that my mom or my grandma would concoct for me.

Now that I’m here in Austria, I mentioned this to my friends and they really had no idea what I was talking about! ‘Heatiness’ doesn’t exist. They explained that it is probably because of the weather (usually, people will fall ill more often during winter) so the body’s immune system is low.

It’s been a few days and it is definitely healing. I can even eat chocolates now! And this time without any herbal soup or some concoction!

It is very interesting that every time I was ill or something, I’ll run to my grandma and mom to complain and they will happily boil some herbal soup for me and I’ll definitely feel better! Nevertheless, it is definitely comforting to me then when I was ill (even as ‘serious’ as having a small ulcer on the tongue!) and that I have someone to run to.

My next objective is to learn to boil some herbal remedies and hopefully, some friends here in Austria would try it, perhaps?!?!

Ball

2008-12-10T12:38:00.001+01:00

28 November 2008

I experienced my first Ball in Austria last night. I wore my black dress and despite the cold, I wore my sandals. It was unbelievably cold. Nevertheless, tt was a wonderful experience! I didn’t bring my camera (I deeply regretted this) because I didn’t have a bigger bag so I took some photos with my camera phone. I usually see this in the news or some other reading materials but here I am, attending a Ball in Austria!

We took the taxi and I was enjoying the ride because it was really snowing. When we went in, we place our coats in the cloakroom. I have to pay 1.30€ for that. There were a group of ladies and gentlemen all dressed in white gowns and tuxedos respectively. They all look really elegant. This is actually a Ball for the High School students (known as the Gymnasium) and it is something like those days where the ladies are introduced to the society. I read this in Jane Austen before. Their parents and relatives attended this Ball so we have a lot of anxious parents taking photos of them. There was an opening dance by them known as the Polonaise. The choreography was really different and the music was kind of upbeat.

Snow

2008-12-10T12:20:00.001+01:00

28 November 2008

It was really snowing last night. I was on the way to the Ball (as the entry above) and when I came home – I was walking on ice/snow. First of all, I don’t think it’s a good idea to wear heels. It was very slippery – I was imagining in my mind how would it be to slip and fall right in front of everyone on the snow with my dress *shudder*. Secondly, I don’t really understand why the Balls are held in winter. It seems to be the Ball season now. I was asking a few people about this but they couldn’t really give me a coherent answer. I’ll probably google this the next time I go online – it should be interesting to read what it is all about. Thirdly, in the wee hours in the morning, I was awakened with a crashing, dragging sound. I peeped out the window and there is this huge truck and it was clearing off the snow on the road. I looked at the clock and it was 0400 in the morning! And then, I went back to bed. And there was another crashing, dragging sound again and as I was so curious, I peeped out the window again and there was a man, whistling while clearing off the snow at my apartment pathway. I was like… wow… these Austrians are really… neat and tidy… I think it is not safe to drive with the snow and to avoid accidents and such – prevention being better then cure – they actually clear off the snow for the safety of the people. And at 0600 in the morning, my good old neighbour opposite was also clearing the snow around his house. At 0900 in the morning, I saw other neighbors clearing out snow in front of their homes. I find this very amusing but then again, I guess it is the norm here… As I am the foreigner here, no wonder it is so new to me. *sigh* Snow… I love snow…

Tomorrow is the first day of Advent! Snow came around at the right time! I hope we’ll have a White Christmas this year!

Evenings

2008-12-10T12:07:00.001+01:00

28 November 2008

I am seated comfortably on my sofa bed and I’m writing here in my blog. I have a cup of tea, the table light switched on, the room light switched off and I have the candle burning with some aroma filling the room. I’m wearing my favourite nightgown with my fluffy, pink bathrobe with a hot mug of tea. It is snowing out and… bliss!

I think this is one of the things I love best about my evenings. Usually, I’ll watch some DVDs that my friends lent me, reading a book, writing and musing or simply just listening to some music. I’m looking forward to share this with my mom and sister who are coming over to visit me end of December. I’ll probably buy a bottle of wine, watch some Korean or Hong Kong Drama DVDs (they promised to bring over) or gossip till very late in the morning… bliss!

Happiness

2008-12-10T12:04:00.001+01:00

28 November 2008

I had this urge to google for ‘happiness and love’ and I came across this website:

http://www.thehappyguy.com/articles/love-happiness.html

Do check out the website and this is the summary of it:

1. "If you can't say anything nice..." "...don't say anything at all."
2. Be Optimistic
3. Be Funny (even Silly!) – humour!
4. Give it away – generosity in terms of affection and money
5. Live in the Moment – not to worry too much about tomorrow or what is to come!
6. Love Deeply – love without reservation…

Sometimes, with all the troubles on our shoulders, we forget the little that we have or the little that we have gained – friendship, family, etc. I think it is a good thing to remember once in a while to just BE happy. After all, it is your decision whether or not you want to seize the moment…

Electricity

2008-11-18T00:26:00.001+01:00

17 November 2008

I am using the computer as I type this out and it uses electricity. I was cooking my lunch and this uses electricity as well. I wanted to drink something warm so, I made some tea and there goes – using electricity to boil water and I needed to recharge my mobile – using electricity again.

It is not too cold now so I’ve actually switched off the heater.

I have to pay for the electricity and it is not included in the rent. This is terribly annoying but there is nothing that I could do about it so I’m more careful with the amount of electricity that I use.

As the weather is getting colder, we need more electricity for almost everything especially the heater and I think that I could do much to save electricity. Trying to do my part…

Here are the steps that I do (at least, I am TRYING to remember to do):

1) Switch off the heater when you are not at home.
2) Use a thermos flask to keep warm water (I don’t have this yet but I will need to get one!).
3) Wake up earlier to make use of the sun light to do stuff (this, I find it very hard especially

during the weekends).
4) Switch off/Plug off all electricity sockets when not in use (especially the computer!)

Any other suggestions?

I’ve been to this website before and I think it is most informative:

http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/whatyoucando/

One of the things that I really love about this country is that the people here recycles. It is just a part of their lives... Join in, folks!

Holding Hands

2008-11-18T00:24:00.001+01:00

I was on the way back from shopping for groceries today that I saw this couple holding hands. It is nothing spectacular because PDAs (Public Display of Affections) here are rather common. But the sweetest scenario about this is that this couple is elderly. There is something special about seeing an older couple holding hands and showing affections. It is common enough to see young lovers but it is different to see an older couple being so lovey-dovey. We need more scenes like this in our lives, don’t you think? Parents, after many years together being loving towards one other, older couples and widows who find love again...

Children's Laughter

2008-11-18T00:23:00.002+01:00

16 November 2008

I was in the dining room of the apartment doing cross-stitch. Yup, you read correctly – I was doing cross-stitch. A friend’s sister of mine had some left over materials so she gave them to me to start along with a really good book for the plan. She is a really fascinating person and her interest in sewing is really cool! I saw some of her work and I was inspired! So here I am doing cross-stitch on a Sunday afternoon and I heard a few children playing outside.

I couldn’t see as there weren’t any windows at the dining area but only at the kitchen and I was too occupied (if you prefer, too lazy rather!) with the cross-stitch work. It has been rather cloudy lately but it was a sunny today. I assume some children wanted to play a bit in the sun and it was really enjoyable just to hear them laughing and chatting.

This reminded me of my little niece and how nice it is just to hear her laugh. As a matter a fact, one of the best remedies of a miserable mood would be a day spent with a child! I guess it is their innocence and sincerity that attract us to children.

I’ve been reading this book about a teacher who helps children with elective mutism – children who chose not to talk for whatever reasons. It is really disturbing to know that there are children who live in fear – even to be afraid to speak or to express their thoughts. There is a genre on books like this. I actually wasn’t aware of it until I noticed that the author has written a few books as an experienced child psychologist. The title of the book is ‘Ghost Child’ by Torey Hayden.

Solitude

2008-11-14T10:49:00.001+01:00

13 November 2008

What is solitude? I’ve had my fair share of solitude since I came here and I think that this is something that I really appreciate. Maybe I’m getting older or something but spending the time on my own teaches me to value and to be aware of my surroundings (or you could say that I’m so boring!). I commented to a friend that I noticed a guy opposite my apartment (the cat owner) were busy in the kitchen for hours and I was rather impressed because I’m always fond of looking at a man in the kitchen! Perhaps, they are baking some cakes or cookies in preparation for Christmas? And this friend said that she has no time to observe people…

I could take it in a bad way but then again, sometimes we’ve got to stop and grasp our surroundings. There are just so many friends to be with, so many phone calls to make, so many phone calls to answer and just so many things to do but I think it is just good to stop and to really touch the people and things around you. Isn’t it what they say? That it is not the quantity but the quality that you are having.

Solitude could be a very interesting moment – when you are in a good mood or when things are good – it could be a friend, a moment to be still and simply to be glad of the things around you. Perhaps, it is the time for meditating – simply to enjoy the silence and to notice the mundane. Perhaps, it is the time to make decisions or to let your thoughts flow. On the other hand, when life is not-too-good at the moment, it is a time to cry – to let go. Perhaps, it is good to be silent and let the silent tears flow through and I’m pretty sure there is someone out there who would listen to you and then, you will know that everything would work be fine – no matter how troubled you are.

Nevertheless, I’ve always admired people who have thousand and one things to do and sometimes, it is good to have many friends and activities to be involved in. And as always, it is always a good feeling to share a moment or two with friends – with a glass of wine, chocolates and much laughter!

Blogging

2008-11-14T10:47:00.001+01:00

I’ve always read somewhere that your blog might be ‘discovered’ by one of the literary agents and that it would be amazing when he or she would try to contact you to write a book because he or she would say something like ‘you have that magic in your words’…. or something like that. And that would be a dream comes true!

On the other hand, just thinking to write a plot is another story altogether and I can’t exactly call it a writer’s block because I’ve never written a book or any of that sort before! So, what do you call this? An inspiration block?

Anyway, there is such a thing where someone was actually discovered through her blog and I was amazed. I was at the English Bookstore at the city centre the other day and I was browsing some books. I was really at home because that was the first time I was in a bookstore with so many English books since I came here. I came across this book and I was browsing it and of course, I was at the end and apparently, this lady was discovered because she was homeless due to some tragic circumstances. It was a wonderful story where she was given the chance to voice out her experience in a book and she’s still writing anyway.

Her blog is: http://wanderingscribe.blogspot.com/

Her book is actually still in my mind and although I was browsing it at the bookshop and I bought another book instead (of the same genre), I will definitely go back to buy this book. It is definitely inspiring and we need more inspirations like this, don’t you think? And who knows, someone MIGHT discover my blog…but I just need to think of a plot first to be prepared!

Bad Mood

2008-11-14T10:44:00.001+01:00

8 November 2008

I am having a bad mood. And it is a very interesting feeling. Everything is just not right and somehow, I just feel like sleeping the whole day or cleaning (don’t ask me why!)…

After reading so many books that ‘enlightens’ me, I really should make use of my ‘’knowledge’. My flat mate asked me if I’m feeling ‘restless’. So, she actually noticed it! Well…

The things that I should do (according to the books that I’ve read) to feel better:

1) Think happy thoughts
2) Do the things that makes you happy
3) Eat chocolate
4) Do not dwell on negative thoughts
5) And some others that I can’t remember at the moment
(I think it is also because of my bad moods…)

Furthermore, I can’t go out! I can’t go grocery shopping AND I can’t go for Salsa class this evening. I’m so silly as to wash ALL MY SOCKS so that I don’t have ANY SOCKS TO WEAR! It is all hanging (happily, I might say – for once, they are not being worn…) on the heater. I’m willing it to dry faster but as the heater is not really hot – it is drying really, really slowly. *sigh sigh sigh*

I think that the best thing that I could do is just to write and as I’m writing some articles to post here in this blog, it helps to unwind. So, to add onto the list, I should:

6) Write and
7) Take out my hairdryer to blow my socks…

Spoken English Status: Quite Good...

2008-11-14T10:43:00.002+01:00

8 November 2008

Someone mentioned to me that my English is quite good. I retorted, “Quite???” (I was telling myself that I thought it was pretty good) and I asked why, of course and that someone said it very bluntly and in-a-matter-of-fact-tone that it is because I make mistakes on my grammar occasionally and I can’t remember some words in English…

I was… baffled, I tell you!

This got me thinking…

Coming here – I have to learn to speak in German. I speak in English with a lot of people here so I don’t have any problems at all living my life here without German although of course, I had the occasional problems (buying groceries, for example). Nevertheless, I hope to speak German fluently one day. I always feel glad and happy when I hear someone speak in Mandarin (usually in Chinese restaurants/shops). Furthermore, being Chinese – I can speak in Mandarin and Cantonese but of course, I can’t speak like a native speaker and I have to admit that I’m quite bad at it.

In Malaysia, our first language is Malay so our school subjects are taught in the Malay language. So, those were the days when we write essays in Malay but everything stopped completely after high school. I could still speak reasonably good Malay now but then, I have to admit that I was the worst in my class (and I think my Malay language teacher pointed this out to me before!).

So here we are – someone telling me that my English is quite okay.

Should I blame the education of my country? Or my family who didn’t exactly teach me to speak in Chinese? Or that I love to read English books? And that I speak and think in English more precisely? I don’t think that I’m the only Chinese who can’t speak in Mandarin or Cantonese well.

My first language is definitely English but I guess – the only way I could do this is to be more precise in my spoken language and of course, I’ll just have to quote some Shakespeare or someone intellectual more often but…

Aiyah… don’t care what people think-la!

P.S. This ‘aiyah’ and ‘la’ are actually the Malaysian way of speaking English…

And yes, yes… I shall try to improve my Chinese and of course, in no time at all – I should be speaking German fluently!! As long as I could pronounce ‘rechts’ (German = turn right)…

Inspiration

2008-11-03T23:38:00.001+01:00

‘The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger but in wisdom, understanding and love.’ Jennifer Edwards (American author/Artist/Educator)

www.inspirationpeak.com

I got this quote from one of the websites that I subscribe daily to my email address. I think it is very inspiring to read something like this – to remind and inspire me. Most of the time, when I am a little down or when I’m thinking about a certain matter – it helps just to notice the little things around you to lift you up; for example – a quote in your email!

I think that the past would haunt us everywhere we go and the more comfortable and happy we are, more of the past would surface. I read in a book before (Dr. John Gray – Mars and Venus, I think) that when we are in a very safe and comfortable environment/relationship, a lot of our past would just surface to be ‘dealt’ with again. I’m not too sure if this is the right word but it is the word that best describes it.

I would reflect on it but the most important thing is to let it go. Perhaps, we could cry a little about it but we must remember that we are learning from our experiences and that it happened for a reason. I hope that I am a better person from that experience and that no matter what – I will let it go…

Salsa

2008-11-03T23:26:00.001+01:00

2 November 2008

Last night was a blast! I went to the dance lesson in I-ku bar (at this Kunsthaus Gallerie) and it was really fun! The instructor is really good and the atmosphere and the people were really fantastic. He teaches us to dance immediately and as I’m new there, I could actually just dance after the lesson on the dance floor. It was really good to move to the music and I think Salsa is a very friendly dance in general. Some of my dance partners were very helpful to help me understand the rhythm and to teach me some dance moves. They were very friendly and they match their movements to mine. I have lots to learn!

I actually said no to one guy because I was really tired after a few dances but a friend of mine thought that I shouldn’t say no to him. It takes a lot to ask a girl out to dance so we should be friendly. I agreed with her so I danced with him again. He’s really nice and he was one of them who taught me some dance moves. My dance partner is this Austrian guy and he’s really friendly. He translated some instructions to me (because it was in German) and he was helping me out when I was confused (yeah, I really did get confused!).

I met a lot of people! This Egyptian guy, another guy from Bosnia and some other Austrians as well. There were a few other Asians as well but I didn’t talk to any of them. Some of the girls danced really well and I was amazed how they control their moves (especially with all the spins). I think I could really learn and enjoy this form of dancing. Everyone dances really different and you could tell if the person is feeling awkward, cautious and when they know they could dance. It is one thing being on the dance floor but it is also very interesting to observe the dancers!

I think Salsa is a very sensual dance and I think it would be really nice to dance with your partner. The movements and the close proximity with each other help to sync your body together. Somehow, it helps when lovers/partners who are in love with each other take up dancing lessons because they are learning to dance together and isn’t it life is all about dancing together? As the saying goes, relationship is a journey in discovering the moves – dancing not as an individual but dancing as one.

Gratitude

2008-11-03T23:24:00.001+01:00

28 October 2008

When we were young, we were taught to say thank you in our prayers – to thank the things that we have, for our parents, for our family and I remembered that this is what we taught the children in Sunday school as well.

I read the book called ‘The Secret’ and there’s this chapter on gratitude. I was thinking how I’ve been spending my time here and I do realize that it is very important to be thankful for what we have. We have so much to dream and to wish and to hope for but sometimes, we have to stop and ponder of the things that we ARE having or that we had.

I’m learning a lot to be more productive in my creativity. First of all, I’ve been writing a lot. Words are flowing to me and sometimes, I get this ‘flash’ (the word is how it was used to describe ‘inspiration’ from this Emily series from L.M. Montgomery – one of my favourite childhood writers – she also wrote the Anne of Green Gables series).

I’ve also experimented on painting (water colour to be exact!) and I have been practicing the violin a lot. I would also take walks around the neighborhood and as its Autumn here, it’s amazing how beautiful but wistful the sight around me.

When I started painting, there’s a certain sense of stillness where everything is focused on the brush, the pressure and the colour and lines that I’m leaving on the paper. No wonder there are so many artists in this world striving to capture the imagination of the heart and to materialize it – it could be in words, it could be an art, sculpture or in music. It’s simply amazing. I’m glad that I’m exploring it. And I love it when I play on the violin and the sound that I’m producing is just right – from my heart.

I hope to be a creator – be it in painting or in music. I hope I will get better everyday.

It’s like a symphony of music – it involves time to develop and to understand. It’s like getting to know a stranger – it involves time and effort. It is like the different seasons – birth, fruition and decline. This is life and this is how it should be – and I’m glad.

Note: I’m a proud beginner at painting – still experimenting with colours!! *grinning widely* I visit this website to learn more about painting: http://www.watercolorpainting.com/index.htm

MoooooOOOOOoooooosssss

2008-10-28T19:05:00.002+01:00

I was in the kitchen - waiting for the water to boil and I thought...why not?!

So here are the photos I've taken...

One of my flat mates has a 'cow collectibles' (as you can see...) but she claimed that her sister and friends were the ones who keep buying these cow 'things' for her.

I think that it is a very good idea for other people to know that you are crazy for something because;-

1) you are encouraging friends/relatives to buy you gifts,

2) When someone saw a cow merchandise, they think of you! (That's what happened to me!! I was thinking of her!!),

3) your friends/relatives know what to buy for you for the necessary occassions - Christmas, birthdays, etc. and lastly 4) you get to have a very pleasant 'environment' around you... I mean, my mood lifted whenever I saw these moos around the kitchen area!! Simply adorable!!

On Cats and Possesions

2008-10-27T23:01:00.001+01:00

27 October 2008 - Cats

I have never liked cats and I still don’t like cats. Nevertheless, I’ve been observing some cats around my neighborhood and I find them most… adorable!

I can’t believe that I’m saying this but they are! I don’t like it when they come near me but I could safely admire them from afar. The neighbors opposite my apartment have two cats and I often see them standing at the window and sometimes, I do see them pawing the window panes so that the owners would let them out or if they are not at home, they would wait for them at the window. This I find it rather cute in a way.

I think that they are as human as can be (same with dogs) and one thing I love this country is that they have very high animal rights. They are allowed to walk in the parks and the city council even provides plastics bags for the ‘ahem’… poo(s).

There are dog owners here who would talk to them like a part of the family (they speak in German, by the way) and like my dog, Babie – he is fluent in English, Cantonese, Malay and Hailam. I wonder if my dog ‘converses’ with the dogs here, would they actually understand each other? It would be very interesting!

26 October 2008 - Possessions

I’ve been here in Austria for about 2 months and I’ve learned much. Unfortunately, it is nothing spectacular or life-changing but it is the little things that I’ve taken for granted. The room that I’m staying in is very simple and I didn’t bring many things with me. I only have these few clothes that I had but I am slowly accumulating books and kitchen utensils! These are the things that I’ve been spending on. And ever since I’ve started working or even as a child, I’ve always wanted to buy and read books.

I really miss the collection that I have at home and I’m really proud of it. It is nothing spectacular but it is a part of me. Perhaps, one day – I could think about bringing these books over but I am slowly accumulating books of my own here. Recently, I got another book from Paulo Coelho and I’ve wanted to read it since it was published. It cost about 19€!!! I think one of the best things in Malaysia is that books are rather affordable.

I wondered if I am a person who wants material things. Somehow, I feel very disconcerted that I have so little things with me now that whenever I go shopping (window shopping at the moment), I really have this urge to buy EVERYTHING but looking at the price, it’s a bit of a problem. (And how I’ve lusted over the IKEA website here…) Coming here – shopping is one of the luxuries that I have to forego. But isn’t it that there is more to life than material things?

That’s what I told myself!

I am NOT a woman who only needs material things to feel secure and that I could live without it but since I am living without these material comforts here, it is harder than I thought! It is one thing when we have so much comfort at home but here, I have to start everything all over again. I toll myself this is for the better, of course. There are so many poor people who don’t even have shelter – so I reminded myself. BUT I have to admit that it gives me much pleasure to look at my books on my shelf, for example or even to look at the kitchen shelf with the bottles of cooking stuff that I bought.

Bottom line is – I AM materialistic and I can’t deny it anymore. Hear, hear…

Note: I can live without buying clothes at the moment but my mom and sister are coming over in late December to bring more of my ‘things’…

And there was once when my students would complain that I don’t have other clothes to wear!! And they get rather excited whenever I wear something new for classes…

History...

2008-10-02T22:34:00.002+02:00

I was reading some of my past writings and I thought it would be nice to just post it up here...

19 August 2008 - Marley and Me

I am reading this book called Marley and me. It is about a guy and his relationship with his dog and his marriage to Jenny – the ups and downs of starting a new family with a dog. I find that 1) you should let men have space to do what they want to do. It seems that he had lots of space to do what he wanted to do and according to the writer 2) the Internet is one of the places to hinder men's invention. I wonder why he said that! I guess it is true that this writer and his wife loves to write as they are both journalists and that they are very active generally.

It's nice to read a good book. It keeps me going. If I'm not reading, I feel rather restless. I have another good book in my bag pack and it's thanks to Mae that she bought the book for me. It's my little present. It's called The Secret. I'm looking very much forward to it. I've wanted to read it since ages ago and I think I will learn much from it. Somehow, there are some books that I browse through in the bookshop and I won't buy it but yet it keeps coming back. I think books like that are worth buying.

2 September 2008 - Emotional Bank Balance

There’s a father and a daughter cleaning their car just downstairs. I can hear them chatting with each other. I think that’s so nice. I think the relationship between the father and daughter is very important – like what Stephan Covey says, to spend ‘alone time’ together. It helps to bond and to build a very good emotional bank balance. We start to have doubts, fears and insecurities when we do not have enough ‘positive emotional bank balance’. He advises that everyone should spend quality time with family members individually – like a date! There are thousand and one things to do with each other to nurture the relationship. So, start planning a date with your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, daughter, son, friends, etc. I’m looking forward to the time I’ll spend with a very good friend of mine in December. She is planning to visit me here! Somehow, I do take her for granted so I hope that with the time spend together here, we will treasure every moment of it.

3 September 2008 - Sue

I introduce myself to everyone here as Sue now – short for Sook Yuen. I think it’s rather nice! I like it that I’m using my Chinese name now. It’s not that I’m complaining about my name! I like it as well but the way they pronounce the R in German is rather…how should I explain this… harsh? It is like at the back of the throat. It’s easy for everyone to pronounce so it’s great! A friend of mine said that I tend to have a lot of ‘nicknames’. A lot of my friends know me as Mel and I think that’s fine! This started in Primary School. I like nicknames. Even Mariah Carey has a nickname! Hers is Mimi… I’m sure everyone knows this!

5 September 2008 - McDonald’s In Vienna

I’m at McD’s. It costs about 5.19€ for a meal!! I noticed that some people are chewing on slices of pizza and I walked further down the street after enjoying my meal of the normal burger, French fries and coke (and I was contemplating the architecture in the restaurant) and lo and behold, it only cost 2 € for a slice!

I also noticed that the people here don’t use lids with straw. They drink from the cup. I think it’s for environmental reasons.

Museums

I really love the museums here. I went to Museum Quartier where there are a few museums at a centre. I went to Leopold Museum in Museum Quartier and another museum called Art History Museum. I haven’t been to many museums but these museums are magnificent! There are no words to describe and the arts displayed are so beautiful. I don’t really know much about art and how to critique an art but somehow, the displays are just exquisite. It’s no wonder that museums are a national treasure. There’s so much to learn in a museum or rather in this case, the art galleries. I really love the feeling - the quietness and even the hushed tones of the people at the gallery. There’s a sense of awe! Why would people want to visit these art galleries or museums?

I’ve written down some quotes by a few artists that were featured in the gallery;

Otto Wagner:
‘One should always remember that the art of a nation is not only the measure of its prosperity but also of its intelligence.’

Friedrich Niezsche - Thus spoke Zarathustra (1883)

The world is deep
And deeper than the day could read
Deep is its woe
Joy - deeper still than grief can be (I love this verse!)
Woe said, Hence! Go!
But joys are went eternity
Were deep profound eternity

I’m not too sure if I got some of the words right because I was scribbling on scraps of paper.

This is actually written in German and I think its fantastic idea to learn German because there are a lot of beautiful works written in this language! I can’t wait!

And I also found out about Arnold Schoenberg! I know how as a composer but he was actually a painter as well! Amazing! I don’t really know how to appreciate his music but I think it would be interesting to see his paintings! It was not exhibited in this art gallery it seems but I’m sure I could look for it. I think he has a gallery or some sort of a memorial in Vienna. His life was rather interesting though because of his wife and also his good friends. He was betrayed and he almost committed suicide.

These are the paintings that I’ve listed that I’d like to find out.

Egon Schiele (1890-1918) House with Shingle Roof (1915)
Town square in Klosterneuburg (1908)

Theodor Von Hörman Flower market at the Madelaine in Paris
Summer in the Garden

Kolo Moser (1868 – 1918) Looking towards the Rax (1907)

Gustav Klimt (1962-1918) Attersea (1901)

Otto Wagner Kirche Steinhof

Alfons Walde (1891-1958) A short day

Just another step

2008-10-01T19:40:00.001+02:00

(Extracted from my journal - written sometime in September 2008)

The freedom of movement of the feet with the soreness of the sole – what is this all about?! But it’s the feel of the summer breeze, the feel of the coolness of the air and the beautiful and green scenery. There’s much to learn and feel from the walk.

As the feet moves along, it’s very tiring but yet it’s just another step and the next. And before long, we reach our destination. It’s a tiresome means to make so many steps to reach a destination but yet, it is inevitable and it’s a must.

Inspiration

2008-10-01T19:23:00.001+02:00

I am BACK!

I know, I know… someone actually laughed at me when I told them that I have a blog. It’s been like since 2007 since I wrote here. I SHALL do something about this, for sure.

I was talking to a friend of mine online and she was blogging. So, I thought, I really should continue blogging as well although, I'm a bit 'shy'. (I know what you must be thinking: Marilyn...shy?!?!?) Although shyness is not exactly my trait...well, it is one thing writing in my journal but it's absolutely another thing if you want to publish it on the internet, right?! But I think I'll gain much from this because I do love writing after all!

Much has happened since I last write in here – I am now in Austria.

This is one of my dreams – to leave Malaysia and to reside in another country. There are many reasons why I want to do this and here I am! And I am very glad.

I came here alone and it has much to offer. I miss my family and my friends and there were times when it was so difficult that I really felt like giving up but as time goes by, I’m slowly settling in. This is a very beautiful country. I love the scenery – mountains, greenery and definitely the lifestyle. Somehow, time moves very slowly here.

I'll write more as time goes by, as day goes by...

Over eating

2007-12-21T12:06:00.001+01:00

I'm so full..ate a bit too much. Met up with a girlfriend yesterday and had a sumptious Jap food and then later had some snacks over 2 huge jasmine ice tea. Come to think of it...I really did over eat last night!

I think it's just that talking over dinner/food just makes you shove all those food without actually thinking?!?! And then, you yak yak yak again and feeling thirsty and all... and there goes those drinks.. It's quite shocking!

Today, I had another HUGE portion of this fish head noodles soup which is supposedly to be really famous in KL and my my my..I'm still full. I guess it would be pretty advisable for me not to have another sumptious dinner. Probably just bread with...hmmm..let's see...peanut butter?!?!

That sounds good enough, eh?!?!

My sister and Me!

2007-12-19T07:51:00.000+01:00

This is my sister and me!

Wowie...

2007-12-19T02:33:00.000+01:00

Never would I thought that this would be complicated!
Hahaha... Well, I might as well start this blogging thingy...

Recently just came back from a trip to Vietnam. We had some translators to help us with our service project there! A couple of them asked me if I had a blog...and unfortunately, I have to reply that I don't have any!

Yes, I do have facebook, multiply, frienster but not really a blog space.

So...here it is!!!! ^_^